A Broken Promise

It's already the new year and I'm going to turn 18 in a couple of days...makes feel really old but I am the oldest student in my ACCEL Senior class and no doubt most of my classes if I was still at Independence right now. There are a lot of things that we make resolutions to but most of the time, we break them like twigs. One resolution...or rather promise to myself already broke since the first second of the new year.

Anyways, there's this notion within my mind that there is more to my past than just my simple memory of growing up within this current life. I mean that, I can feel that there is more and I actually believe it because my emotions cannot lie if they are not mines to begin with. This idea is actually hard to prove but I have felt several cases where the emotions I feel aren't even my emotions to begin with. Take today as an example, I watch a movie called "Emmanuel's Gift" which is about a disabled Ghana man who is making a difference in his nation by helping the 10% of the population that is disabled. Within my mind I thought he is an amazing man but my heart told a different story as only my left eye got teary and a slight pain in my heart during the break in between. It's absolutely weird.

There are various others but it seems like its a very weird thing. Alas, the pain and memory only gets increased by my anxiety which I am now fixed that it is the result of being more than I believe that I am. It's like the mouth speak the lies but the eyes speak the truth. I wonder how true will that become. If anything was to ever happen to me...I know it is for a better reason.

I can't lose myself to something that I believe is real. There's no way I can prove it and no way anyone will believe me but as long I know its true...then it is real.

Have a great New Year everyone =D BTW...this isn't even the full picture.