Pain

Today has been another dull day as the break is drawing to a close. My mom is getting mad at me just for relaxing because she wants me to do well which I am. I think she still thinks that college for her is like college for me but she doesn't see the difference between the two of us or so I think. Maybe I should ask her...it's just a thought in the air though. Other than that, game, study, read, homework.

Pain is something that we go through everyday in our lives whether it be physical or emotional. I find it funny how there are some days were pain evades us but that is rare. Yet, it is something that gives us comfort for what we do for the rest of the day and even for the future which I have found to be very helpful. The physical pain is usually caused either by accidents, such as a paper cut, or an infliction that is wrought with purpose, a gang fight or bar fight. I wonder if it is easy to distinguish between an accident and purpose sometimes but it just something that needs to be thought about a lot more than just a simple yes or no.

I've gone through a good share of physical pain but never to the point of needing a cast. I vaguely remember having to where a neck brace but I don't remember why. Other times it's usually cuts and bruises from different things from a simple cut to breaking a nail in half, luckily it was only horizontal and not vertical or else I would have been screwed for a while. I got a splinter in the sole of my left foot that turned into a sort of scar because the skin keeps peeling there but I'm guess that's because of walking. The largest thing that didn't get me a cast is head trauma but that landed me in the hospital for about a month or two with about a two to four week recovery period after I was released. Strange how I suspect that it connects with my repression but that's a story for another day.

Emotional pain is like a mar against your mind and soul which sticks to you till the very end or you just remember it. I have plenty of these which I am not very fond of to tell you the truth. The most recent one was just earlier today while reading my psychology textbook which happened to be about therapy. Therapy is supposed to help people but when I was reading it, it just inflicted pain on my heart that made me stop reading until it felt better only to return again several paragraphs later. Other times would have been about my relationship or something sad in my past. The only trigger I need to feel pain are powerful sad past events in my life or powerful sad events that occur in today's society. I know I'm full of sad and/or painful events mainly because I can never remember any of it, an internal mechanism that suppresses any trace of a sad and/or painful event emotionally. I'm sure it is human nature to do that but it isn't human nature to suppress every sad and/or painful events that affect them emotionally.

Pain is something that we can never live without since it latches onto life itself. Even a utopia can never vanquish pain because it causes sacrifices that people would rather die for than give up unless they share the same ideals for the utopia and can care less about that sacrifice.

What is my next pain? Will it be physical or emotional?