Punishment

Hm, finished my project in class today and presented it to the class so now that's out of it. I can concentrate on my psych debate on monday and then finals during the last week of my last semester so, it's not all that bad. I'm happy I chose easy and good professors so I'm in the safe zone...for now unless something bad happens to me a few days before I'm supposed to take the exam. I plan on visiting some friends tomorrow so that I can clear my mind and see if they changed over the past two seasons so I'm sure it will be a good day for me.

Some things that we do are either considered good or bad to society's eyes which is something that we cannot control so well if you ask me. There are people who try to make that understand but the diversity is just to hard to make a bridge towards since America is the great melting pot. Good = rewards but bad = punishment of any sort of severity which usually depends on the severity of the offense of course. Punishment is something that we have to accept within society because no one is a perfect little angel. There are some that don't cause a lot of harm and those that stick for all eternity which is something that haunts over us, mostly as regret.

My punishment is unknown to me because I know that what I have done in the past makes my punishment what it is today, instability within the mind and not easily controlled emotions within the range of being happy and being sad. Getting help from people and talking about the problem will slowly diminish the punishment but it always lingers near by. A conjoined punishment is repression but I think that is more like a stabilizer because it represses all sad moments that I have come to encounter within my whole life so I think it is more like a good thing. I can't say that sin is the same as punishment but within religious reasoning, what ever reasons they may be, it is viewed as closely the same thing. I don't think committing suicide will free me from my punishment but it really isn't worth a try unless I am really desperate.

Someone told me that "punishments are a way to show that we survive. That we are living and breathing like everything else in the world." I guess that's true if I think about it. How would we know that we are really real though since we could be really looking through the past or future and that the punishments are apart of what we are seeing and feeling. How would we even know if what we are living through is actually real instead of a memory? Does punishment really prove that?

Punishment is like a marble that rolls on from person to another until someone abandons it forever but this marble just keeps rolling for all eternity to there is no way to drop it. I will keep moving until I fall of the rolling world and descend into the place where my world is one of its own where I can live peacefully with myself. I will keep moving and keep waiting for the next day to start and the last day to end.